Why "cool" underwear is bad

Two things every parent should know about 5 year olds and soccer:

1) Most of the kids out there don't get it
2) If your kid wears "cool" underwear to a game, he'll want to show them off

I won't elaborate on #1 since any parent who has had a kid play soccer has a good idea what I am talking about. I just want to talk about #2.

I've got twin boys. One is the competitor the other is the disrupter. Let's call them "C" and "D" for short. C gets out there and goes after the ball while D wants everyone to play tag, cowboys (with finger guns.....feigned gasp), or something other than the game actually being played.

Soccer shorts are baggy and apparently you can grab the side of them and pull them up pretty high. High enough in fact for everyone else to see your underwear. As the kids are standing in the middle of the field waiting for play to commence, D discovers this.

D is wearing his favorite "Batman" underwear. D suddenly yells to his teammates "Look at my Batman underwear!" Before Mrs. Puff can fully instantiate her feelings of mortification that my son is leading the rest of the children down the path to the dark side of the force, the rest of the kids start pulling up the sides of their shorts to show off their underwear too....both teams. One kid, realizing that not everyone can see how really cool his underwear is, starts to untie his shorts....and then the coaches step in. Thankfully.

It was plain white underwear from the next game until the end of the season.