Saturday, June 24, 2006

Boys and Guns

If you, as a parent, make a decision to not purchase toy guns you've not won the battle. Mrs. Puff seemed to be leaning into the "anti-gun" direction. Then....

While on vacation one of the boys (at the age of 3 no less) discovered a piece of coral and came to the quick realization that it looked like a gun.....and it should therefore be pointed at someone while saying "pow pow". Where did that come from? Possibly from the other 3 year olds they hung around with in the church nursery? I don't recall seeing any "war games" on my shift.

It wasn't from TV. We allowed little TV viewing during their younger years (and allow even less today). We're pretty strict on what they watch and at that time they were limited to things like "Bear in the Big Blue House", "Winnie the Pooh", "Baby Einstein", and "Dora the Explorer".

It is amazing all the things they've used as guns.
Tinker Toys
Paper towel tubes
Action figures
And one day, duct tape (these guys are geniuses!) and cedar 4x4's left over from their play set.

We had our first ever "weaponized" Christmas this past year. With their toy guns, the boys have conquered the yard, their room, and all points in between.

Still, it was very surprising when one of the boys at the end of dinner was putting his leftover porkchop in a ziplock and he suddenly says "Look! It's a gun!" and he holds his pork chop like a gun and says "POW POW".

Thursday, June 15, 2006

My First Surgery

I got my knee fixed today. Despite the grogginess, I feel pretty good.

I could be off crutches by Monday. That is just absolutely amazing.

Despite the hoop jumping with the HMO, the fact that I had my knee repaired in 3 1/2 weeks makes me happy we haven't nationalized health care like Canada.

This was my first surgery ever. My first experience with anesthesia was interesting. I was complaining about a headache due to caffiene withdrawals (surgery was at noon so no food or beverages since midnight). The doctor says he had something which would knock that headache out quick (the anesthesia). He injects it into my IV and within seconds I start feeling something I can't describe.......then I feel panic.....then my vision begins to blur.......then my headache goes away......then I say "Wow!".....then I wake up two hours later in recovery.

Pretty strange. Two hours of life vanished. That's the only way to describe it.

But I have to admit that with my right knee shaved....I've got some pretty good looking legs.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Something you don't want to hear your Dr. say....

"I'd do it myself but I don't want you screaming in my office."

Oh yeah, that made me feel really good.

Church Adventures

It's always a challenge getting the kids to pay attention to the sermon on Sunday. The one thing that can get them focused is when the pastor introduces a visual aid like tools.

This Sunday, the pastor showed 4 of his favorite cutting tools: a machete, a hand saw, a knife, and some hedge clippers. One of my boys, who up to that point had been playing "left hand beats up right hand" despite my "knock it off" growls, spies the implements of destruction. Instantly, his focus is on the pastor, his words, and the tools like an Atkins dieter on a bowl of potato chips on his first "cheat day."

As part of his sermon example, the pastor says "I'd like four parents to volunteer their six year old boys to play with these outside after the sermon."

It is, of course, a joke showing the absurdity of such a suggestion.

The joke is lost on the boy.

As the chuckles swell slightly, my boy says "Why is everyone laughing? DADDY, I'M SIX YEARS OLD! I'M SIX!"

Getting Older - It Really Does Suck

I turned 38 on Monday. I am two years shy of 40. If you would've have asked me on Friday if I was feeling any older I would have said "no".

But, if you would've asked me Saturday at 8:46 AM after I blew out my knee during a work out......well........dammit.

Looking forward to my first MRI and surgery.


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Bugs and Kids

Bugs are cool. They really are. If you've never watched something like Buggin with Rudd you are missing out.

That being said, I don't want the damn things crawling on me.

Look, I'll pick up a worm, or a lady bug, or a daddy longlegs (they aren't poisonous) but that is about it. If a spider or a roach gets on me I will squeal like a little girl and run like Osama in Tora Bora.

So, what to do when one of the kids walks over with some hideous looking thing in his hand and tries to give it to me while saying "Daddy, isn't this cool?"

First, I don't want the kid thinking that bugs are not cool. Second, I don't want to pass along my "distaste" (OK, pseudo-phobia) for bugs to the kids. NOTE: I think most parents do not want to pass along their "freaky" tendancies to their kids. At least, I hope they don't.


Take a deep breath and think up an excuse to not touch that bug. Something like, "Wow, that's pretty neat, buddy, but daddy's skin has special glands that release acid that will cause that bug to die a horrible death if I try to hold it. It's a good thing you don't have those glands, isn't it?"

Then I run inside and squeal like a little girl.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Jig is Up - Maybe

Well, I broke down and let a couple of co-workers know where my blog was today. That may or may not be a bad thing considering it could double my readership.

Welcome Kermit and Z-man!

Their names have been changed to protect the innocent.

BTW, these two are really funny.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

When is Children's Day?

Returning from the annual “scramble to buy a Mother’s Day present with no idea what to buy”, one of the boys asked me when Children’s Day was. Oddly enough, I recall asking my dad the same question at some point in my youth….probably about the same age as my boys. My dad’s reply was a gruff “Everyday is children’s day.” That’s it. That was all he said. The apple not having fallen far from the tree, I started to give the same reply. But before I said it, I realized that I had no clue what my dad meant when he said that. So I set my mind to wondering…….


And now, I think I know what he meant.


Parents make sacrifices, every day, for their children. Sometimes willingly, sometimes begrudgingly, sometimes without even realizing it, we (parents) do without things because we love our children. Perhaps it’s living in a less expensive house so one parent can stay home…….or playing less golf on the weekends in order to take them to the park….or driving that paid off car a few more years to put more money in their college funds…..or stepping off the career fast-track to be home for dinner every night…..or not going out with friends because you’ve had several late nights at work this week……or not spending Sunday watching football because they want you to spend time playing with them……or spending money on swim lessons, dance lessons, soccer, or baseball instead of buying that new set of clubs. 


I believe THAT is what my dad meant all those years ago.


So happy Children’s Day, my son.


Today, tomorrow, and until I leave this earth.




Thursday, May 11, 2006

Bun No Longer in the Oven

The last of the clan arrived via C-section on April 3rd weighing in at a "Nurse gasping" (seriously, they gasped.......I didn't because it was showing kilograms at first) 1o lbs 3 oz. Mrs. Puff did her best to push that toddler out but Little Big Puff was in no mood to be that squished.

No "cute baby cry" on this one either. She has got a set of lungs on her!

And, man, oh man, are we tired.